A new story,
– I will never be enough! –
It is all a lie,
When I search inside my heart.
The only thought,
I am really scared.
(Reverse Poetry – read the poetry forwards then backwards)
. . .
After you’ve been at the threshold of death, feeling its power, you understand the vulnerability and fragility of life. You start to question everything, and all your thoughts blend into one, a question of life and death, real and dream, ephemeral and eternal. In a split of a second everything you know will forever be vanished. Grief changes every bit of sense of who you are.
Lost and lonely, in my process of mourning, I started a journey of a deep self-reflection.
After my father died, my whole world went black, and I wonder how could I laugh again?! How can I feel
joy again, without feeling guilty?! Will my heart ever going to heal?! Is my life going to be the same again?! Will life
start to make sense once more?!
All I wanted is the pain to stop for a little while.
At night, I was afraid to sleep because I knew I will fall back again into the same nightmare. During the day, I couldn’t wake up. The days went by, and time brought me a little tranquility, but guilt as equally.
Deep down I know I wasn’t ok and it felt like I will never be.
One day, I knew!
I saw the way as clear as a summer sky, I saw the shortcut that everyone was searching for, the secret well hidden: every day you have to take a small step to live, to be alive, to feel life, to know life. Every day you have to take one step away from depression, to change one small though of sadness into happiness, fight a thought that pulls you down until you are free. Every day you have to search for your true self inside your heart. This fight will be until your last breath.
How will I ever laugh without feeling guilty?
How do you heal a soul?
How do I ever feel happiness again, after all this sadness?
. . .
If you want to read more about the Photopoetry Project, you can download the FREE e-book The Fine Art Photopoetry Manifesto here.
Coming out of the darkest time of my life I understood the importance of telling my story. I hope that my art will bring everyone that had their share of losses a path and encouragement to find happiness in their life again.